Below are the chapters of Sweatpants Across Europa. Drafts of these stories have been sitting around in my drawer collecting dust for several years, but I'm finally getting around to cleaning them up and posting them. Many thanks to my wife Karie Johnson, my sister Courtney Johnson, and my friend Peter Borchers for endlessly helping me finalize these posts. All remaining weaknesses are my own. Enjoy your time here, and feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.